Yuanfen – Fate without destiny

Today, a friend of mine shared this on facebook

I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly and then all at once
It immediately got my attention, especially since i find this line true for myself as well and it made me curious instantly from where is  this.  I learned that this is a quote from this book, best-selling book of Jan 2012 in Amazon, John Green / The fault in our stars .
I am intrigued by the plot  that has as main character a teenager girl diagnosed with thyroid cancer who finds love in the support group for her disease. I am intrigued of this story first of all because when I was a teenager I had a serious thyroid problem and I ended up doing a surgery that removed most of my thyroid – my whole story can be read in this post Vital butterfly….I was lucky to don-t have this problem on my own, but because of my own thyroid problem I have met some people that were in the same surgery hospital as me and after the surgery they received the cruel result that they actually have thyroid cancer…I often wonder about them and think how lucky I was to dont hear this news after my surgery….so I guess  it’s clear enough what makes me interested in reading this book, even if the entire setting is so sad and I am sure it will not be the most pleasant read considering how many illness memories will recall…but I must read it…
This entire plot and the most probably sad ending  that I can expect also intrigued me because it reminds me of something that I read  in this article a few months ago while writting another post about a current situation in my life,  that unfortunately proved these days that “had fate without destiny” and not happy Retrouvailles ahead….

Yuanfen (Chinese): A relationship by fate or destiny. This is a complex concept. It draws on principles of predetermination in Chinese culture, which dictate relationships, encounters and affinities, mostly among lovers and friends.

From what I glean, in common usage yuanfen means the “binding force” that links two people together in any relationship.

But interestingly, “fate” isn’t the same thing as “destiny.” Even if lovers are fated to find each other they may not end up together. The proverb, “have fate without destiny,” describes couples who meet, but who don’t stay together, for whatever reason. It’s interesting, to distinguish in love between the fated and the destined. Romantic comedies, of course, confound the two.

It’s a book that I must read…This book is now on my reading list and hopefully soon enough in my hands.