I’ve been thinking lately a lot about this in many ways, and all in all, I gathered here all the posts I wrote along the way on the blog on this issue (click the formatted coloured text to reach those posts).…and I might add some more relationships thoughts later on in new posts.
First, a few posts quoting from my past recent experiences related to this theme, both from July 2010:
- What’s magic for me, what’s real life for me? Smiling and laughing from your heart with friends, even if it’s one of the worst days of your life, being in an amazing natural surrounding and travelling, hiking around the mountains, meeting interesting people and realizing the world is so small, seeing people happy, seeing them smiling, seeing them in love also, made me sooo filled with joy! I could never be jealous or envious on other people’s happiness, I could just join their happiness celebration! …all ideas explained in the link underlined above.
- Quote from “My worst” “When is the best moment to date a new person showing up in your life? At your best? At your worst, as this quote says “if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you certainly don’t deserve me at my best.” ?….details in the post
- My friends know that I have always special lovable or funny or strange stories when it comes to travelling with the Underground Ubahn in Munich (read if interested some of these happenings mentioned in these posts: 1, 2, 3, 4)…..and some of these stories teached me as well more about my reactions, what I appreciate and what I don’t when it comes to human interactions …
- …in one of these posts you can read directly what I don’t appreciate …start reading from this phrase “This type of approach is clearly not my style, […]” and ” It’s no fun to make someone your priority while you are only their option…”…details in this post
- ……in other posts you can see also what I appreciated: 1, 2)
How about what’s the visions of my future life in my eyes? What’s meaningful relationship to me? Click the links to reach the posts I wrote on this theme:
- I want real life, lovable person, happiness, simple happiness and joy every day that I am near that person. I don’t want a relationship for money, for marriage, for position/ title in society or whatever. No money can buy what I consider real life. Even though I value money and I want to produce them for good causes.
- Real life is for me like a cup of coffee that you should know how to enjoy it . Live simply. Speak kindly. Care deeply. Love generously.
- My meaningful relationship should be full of love … “The women that you just want to use has been made out of love, and that why she cannot function without this fuel.” ….read the link from this quote or just read any article on my blog that has the word love in it…here are all the search results for love word in my posts.
- The life that I want should be enjoyed with whole-heart, becoming whole-hearted, having a whole-hearted person next to you. (Listen to this video presenting in 20 minutes a full 10 years of social work research and its findings about humanity, vulnerability and whole-hearted people.)…. Being a vulnerable whole-hearted person (=courage to be imperfect, compassion and being kind to ourselves, connection as a result of authenticity, let go of who you want to be and become who you are, fully embrace vulnerability and believe that what makes you vulnerable is necessary and makes you beautiful) totally deserves adding it to my long term new year resolution list. That’s why when I like a person I like it for its heart and soul, for its personality and mind, and I rarely pay attention to exterior look (even though I can’t deny it has its role in liking a person)….maybe that’s why I also like so much the teachings of this Godess Saraswati Hamsavahini…
- My meaningful relationship should be like this summer song, fun, easy, simple, no need for more than the present tense. It should be meaningful for as long as it lasts, be it one month or five years or the entire life, and both of us to be totally immersed in the moment and in caring for each other
- It should be full of fun
- It should be my daily dose of happiness, having a happiness agent next to me every moment and being a happiness agent for the other person, it should be as nice as this day dream. Where can I find someone as energetic and happy as me to share this feeling for a little while at least?
- It should be exclusive one to each other, should be based on respecting each other, trusting each other, no jealousy involved please! This exclusivity and respect, trust and lack of jealousy is especially important to me.
- I think Jealousy is just the fear that you do not have value in the eyes of your partner, that you are not loved just as you are with all your charming or less charming imperfections, that the love you have it’s just a stroke of luck. Relax, learn to enjoy yourself, to love yourself, to trust yourself, to trust your partner and to believe that you are truly loved as you are.
- Because if you are not loved as you are, then that relationship is really not meaningful, in the end it will not work out, it will only twist your soul in a way that will make you become unhappy if you accept it for long, so better just have the courage to say faster…next, please!
- And even if you are not happy in one moment, never ever envy other people’s happiness, better join them in celebrating it and increasing the happiness around, don’t worry, your time will come sooner or later to celebrate it as well.
- “Envy is a symptom of lack of appreciation of our own uniqueness and self worth. Each of us has something to give that no one else has.” ~Elizabeth O’Connor
these things matter most:
How well did you love?
How fully did you live?
How deeply did you let go?”
Oh, and I heard all to many times that love hurts from many friends…..please guys, stop saying that, it’s not true! Love doesn’t hurt! What is hurting is actually rejection, lack of acceptance, betrayal of trust, jealousy, disrespect, mean words or actions, ignoring the other person, making the other person feel like an option when they offer you their priority, not being here in the present for the other person… the list can go on…..and if you think that you love someone but that person makes you hurt….that is not the person to love! Move on, one day a worthy person to love will come along in your way!
For me love is embracing, caring and accepting the other one as it is, love is supporting the other one to become what he/she has the potential to become and wants to become, love is respecting the other one, love is trusting with all your heart in the other person, love is making the other person happy, fuzzy and warm all inside, feeling butterflies flying around and in your stomach.
Love is healing, guys, love is not hurting. Love is healing!
Note to self: No matter how much this love search will hurt over time, no matter how bad it can turn, no matter if it’s not shared, don’t ever forget this:
Give L ♥ V E and Respect, because what you give is what you get
Breathe and think about it.