Songs for my soul

I embrace change. Change is the only constant in life. And I’m grateful I can learn so much from situations and people around me. I’m grateful for each and every good and bad moment that existed in my life.

And I go now through times of change related to my best friends. From a best friend I have certain expectation, I expect and I offer respect and acceptance, tolerance, I’m open-minded, I do my best not to judge, even though I am doing it sometimes, but I stop as soon as I realize it.   I hope to share similar values in life, similar perspectives, common interests but I also accept differences no matter how big they are…however, now  as Linkin Park sings in the video below, “I’m tired of being what you want me to be” without asking me what I want to be… You ask for people not to  judge and to accept you as you are, to respect you, but you are judging people and friends each and every time, in their face and in their absence.   As inspired as I can be in some areas as differences of mentality that are leading to creative perspectives for me, interesting style, generosity and unexpected kindness, humanity in unexpected moments, I can’t find inspiration in life values as gossiping, betraying the trust of your friends by telling to others your perception about them or telling me their secrets and more….it’s just that these are not part of my life values and these  will never be…and so “Every step that I take is another mistake for you” and right now “All I want to do is be more like me and less like you”…

I don’t regret the times together….and as I see more and more clear, it’s nothing wrong with ending the times together…it’s just what it is. No character match. Just people who met, felt good together going out and meeting, explored some subjects that were of interest for all and that thought they were best friends at one moment.

Nice memories and valuable life lesson for me. I’m forgiving, being grateful and learning the lesson.

I’m not perfect, I never said I was, I know I have my mistakes. I’m doing my best to change the things that I consider true from what I’ve been told, no matter in what shape and how awful it was transmitted, and I will post along here  what’s changing in my life.

But as big as my mistakes may be or not, I totally feel disappointed by how it was told and the actions afterwards, the lack of communication and acceptance that I am not the only one with mistakes, and still we all have mistakes and we all are imperfect, but we should stick to each other and help each other to evolve and get better…. The sad reality is that actions speak even louder than words and if this is the attitude that I offer, I don’t receive the same attitude back from the ones that I considered my closest friends in this city ….

It’s irrelevant to think more of this topic, what seems to be the end for a nice human interaction may as well be the beginning of something better on personal level and in my personal life. The world is round, that’s how I started this blog after 2 months of procrastinating in end 2009 and trying to hold on to good times in my past that were clearly over …. now this decision in the beginning of 2011 took me only two weeks with all the chances  and open gates given along, so I’m not allowing more procrastination in my life trying to keep alive old times that are clearly over.

I evolved, as Noisettes are saying, “I’m not who I was last summer, I’m not who I was last spring”

I’m changed, I’m not who I was any more and I’m here only for those that have the eyes to see me and embrace me for who I really am now.

And my decision is taken, my dog days are over.

I’m letting go.

Even though I feel grateful that you were a very happy moment in my life, I’m not coming back.

…and this very classy lady is really singing what’s in my soul right now.

It’s time to look forward and  link the puzzles of my future.

Tough times never last, tough people do.