Talking about travelling these days reminded me that it is time to buy again the monthly MVV card for travelling in the inner ring of Munich. So I went to get a special pass (of course, only the 4th place that I’ve been sent to was the one that actually could give me my pass!!) and …well, my friends know that I have always special stories when it comes to travelling with the Underground Ubahn in Munich…. and this time, being in MVV offices, it was no different!
So, what am I talking about? Long story short, while traveling with the public system from Munich, managed by MVV, it happened to me many times to get approached by men….but no way Germans or Europeans! nor the Latin men, even though I get plenty of approaches from them in bars/clubs, but never in MVV….in the subway, I’m approached only by Arabs, Turks, Irakians, Indians, Africans etc…and if possible, from the smallest countries available….what would be the chances to meet in Munich! a 1,3 mililon city, a guy from Togo, Djibouti, Tibet, Irak or any other arab or muslim country? Well….with me around, while travelling with the Ubahn, 100% chances! :))))))))))
In the beginning, in 2009, all these happened because I was constantly smiling, I usually have a cheerful mood and a positive & friendly attitude...and you rarely see people happy and smiling in the Ubahn here, or even talking…is sooo quiet sometimes, I wish I could see more people happily talking! Even if many people took me for German or UK native, so I had no problems blending in considering my features, my happy attitude was kind of an exception, and probably this made men feel a little more confident in approaching me…. …and more then this, it seems a new MVV chapter it’s starting! In one of my few Sbahn travells, a women started smiling at me, and it was not a regular smile, it was a totally flirty smile! Geeez, I had no idea how to react, I was amused, stoned that this is happening and freaked out in the same time!! And the funny part is that I was just dressed up in a casual business looking style, so I was not dressed up in a too manly way, and before the women episode from the Sbahn, on the stairs a men approached me, an arab guy just couldn’t get his starring eyes out of me, and said “you’re so sexy!” out loud in the underground! Grrrrr! Perfect line & moment to pick me up, yeaah! So it seems I get attention from both sexes now ….and all in the MVV locations! Fun moments in Munich for me, huh? 😀
After all the above approaches, I must say I settled down, I’m trying to be as attentive as possible to my book or music player or do something so that I won’t look radius and happy and optimist and friendly, I’d rather be a little bit more discreet with my happy attitude when traveling alone then get some unwanted attention.
And if I notice some people trying to approach me, I pretend I don’t see their efforts….But today, 1st of July 2010, while searching for a place to buy my monats card, this strategy totally failed! Not once, but twice!!
First time, I was waiting in line in Ostbahnhof and I can see the guy next to me moving around, checking me out, so I just started reaching the book from my bag, opened it and pretended I did not see him…. still, all of a sudden the guy starts talking to me…who are you? what’s your name? where do you come from? of course, he was coming from Africa, but I was in no mood to ask from where! I might have added a new country on my MVV map 🙂 So he found literally no information from me, not even a nice smile to make him go on and he still insisted, he was just repeating the same questions, unbelievable!! I even told him I don’t like this kind of approach and this is not how I meet my friends, since this is what he was asking….I like you, maybe we can meet sometimes… happily he was called to go and talk to the representative of MVV and I was going to another one, so I lost him! Yeeaah! And I finished before him with my representative, so I walked sooo fast away to loose my trace :p
Since I could not find what I needed to buy in the first office, I had to go to another one….guess what? yeap….I was just exiting the office, again I was sent to a 3rd office… and someone entered the door in the same time, a muslim/arab person this time, and he just started smiling, turned around and looked after me instantly… in my mind, I was totally happy that I don’t have to stay anymore and this time I loose the guy….baaad thinking! …after 50 m, can you guess who was behind me and waiting at a traffic light next to me? Yeap, you are correct! the exact guy! Hmm…so my world started thumbling down, and rapidly I made a very serious face, I’ve put my sun glasses on and prayed for the traffic light to go green before he starts approaching me….green it was and I fastly started walking, and on the other side I heard “Entschuldigung, Entschuldigung!” (it means I’m sorry or Excuse me in German) more times until he reached me and stopped me…and then he started telling me that he finds that I am beautiful in German….even if I understood it all, I said sorry, I don’t speak German….which is partially true, I understand way better then I speak….hoping that he will let me go. I moved to go away and then he said again …so you speak english? 😀 😀 😀 ok…this was not in the plan, usually the arab people speak mostly french…. And then I’ve told him …sorry, I am not interested …and he put me to repeat twice, prettending he did not understand, while starying me into the eyes sooo directly, as if I would instantly fall in love if I see him watching me so attentive! Anyway, after this, he finally got it, looking at how serious I got, I put the sun glasses on again and there you go!!
This type of approach is clearly not my style, I may feel amused of some situations, but I also feel harassed in some cases….and I expect more style from my friends! ….so any try of becoming my friend, or even worse, boyfriend, will clearly fail if I see this lousy type of approach!
And also I am not interested in being just an option for somebody who already has a family and keeps his married status but would like to be with you…true story! unfortunately…. I’ve got the “chance” to get such an offer from a really wealthy business guy that I was finding really interesting… until he made this proposal…at least he was sincere enough to say that he was looking just for some fun, just for an option while away from his family…. I would probably think even less of someone who would be lying about this family status just to get his way with you, because such a behaviour would totally break the trust between us and that’s no relationship to keep for me, I would leave in the next second. Oooh, I forgot, he also mentioned that he had the financial means to offer me whatever I wanted…except for self esteem, which I would loose in the moment that I would accept such a trashy offer….thanks, but no thanks! I was in a really bad financial moment then, maybe others would have accepted his proposal thinking of the financial stability….but no money can buy my dignity and self esteem back. I’ll make it on my own regarding finances, and regarding relationships I want real happiness, not a fake happy smile traded for money… Next, please! It’s no fun to make someone your priority while you are only their option, no matter how much you might like one person in this situation. If a relationship has to be a secret on a long run, you shouldn’t be in it. It’s not for me, no, no, no! I respect myself more then this and I will wait for another suitable option.
Another heartbreaking moment – why the ones that you like and are potentially matching your type of special guy/girl, do not share the same feeling? Why do we have to hear so often in our life this “Let’s be friends” phrase at one point after meeting someone that you like and that liked you as well…until you’re friends? I’ve been told and I’ve said it myself as well…and I hated both moments…. How many times do we have to hear this until we’ll find the special someone that you like and he/she will not be happy with just being friends?
Either way… I’ll find my special One in one of these day, for which I will be the Only one, the special one, a relationship that is not hidden from a part of his friends/family, a relationship that can be fully transparent for all our friends, as soon as we will both feel comfortable with announcing it.
Until then, a little independence song: Pussy Cat Dolls – I Don’t Need A Man 🙂
This song’s lyrics goes sooo well with these “lovable” stories:
“I see you looking at me/ Like I got something for you / And the way that you stare / Don’t you dare” :p
and the rest of the lyrics are going quite well with what I would like to have….
” You know I got my own life, So if you want to be with me, It ain’t all about the bling you’re bringing, I want a love that’s for real, And without that no deal”
Cheers to that!